Likes: Ladybird books, David Shrigley, outsider art and music, Spike Milligan, Ivor Cutler, otters, perambulating wildly, kiwi and strawberry smoothies, Metaxa brandy.

Dislikes: the above on Tuesdays.

Plucked from the nest of West Sussex at a tender age and cast mercilessly into the land of haggis, whisky and fire-breathing grannies, he led a simple life. Occasionally visiting art college, occasionally doing the odd painting or two. Recklessly throwing his fate to the chance-landing of a pin in the map to end up south o' the border once more; hardened, tough and sinewy... like a bad kebab. Prone to dancing "like hypnotised chicken" (Iggy) with an eye for the dramatic he sought refuge in the theatre, and then to his twin loves of art and music.

Writing as Arts Editor for local listings mag, for no cash but access to the shady world of guest lists and ass-kiss reviews, he ploughed a lonely and controversial furrow, shooting from the knees (hips too worn out). Jaunts to the Edinburgh festie and hobnobbing with the rich, famous and chocolatey sure felt right.

Took time off from the glitterball lifestyle to find some inner peace. Found it. Got bored. Too quiet. Business as usual? Hell yeah!