Deprived of rock'n'roll by a strictly classical upbringing, Chris' life was changed forever at 9 years old when, in the local record shop, he saw the mad swordsman on the sleeve of Black Sabbath's Paranoid and wondered what the words 'Heavy Metal' were on about on the section divider.

Soon the joys and tribulations of being a young rock fanatic came thick and fast, cutting his fingers to ribbons trying to learn the solos from Sweet Child O' Mine on an unplayable old acoustic guitar and meditating to recover from the shock of the price of a genuine Gibson Les Paul.

Teenage musical obsessions took him through lots of American experimental music, from Throwing Muses and the Pixies, the Butthole Surfers, WaxTrax and Meat Beat Manifesto, and then into learning jazz theory and classical Indian music - along the way setting himself firmly at odds with all his peers by cultivating an overwhelming hatred of the film The Breakfast Club. He still doesn't understand its appeal to this day.

A few years experimenting with dance music and DJing resulted only in learning to mix together Josh Wink's Higher State of Consciousness with Daydream Believer by The Monkees, a classic party piece. However with proper employment and a new band, the aforementioned Les Paul became affordable and Chris has recently been a feature on the Sheffield music scene, in the clearly outstanding garage band Fred Yukka.

Current loves: The on-form return of the Revolting Cocks, Kneehigh Theatre's bonkers Nights at the Circus, realising how much useless information Thomas Pynchon has taught me...

Current hates: Back to the wine-bar for the return of the post-Californication Red Hot Chili Peppers, the prospect of trying to have a football and Big Brother-free conversation in the Summer of Chav to come...