@ University of London Union, London, 20 October 2000
Oh shite, I am back at university and I still haven't done any revision. Dirty, brightly lit '70s corridors with bored security guards sitting there in the grim knowledge that the only excitement they are likely to get is if Rupert has too many alco-pops and goes at it Queensbury stylee with Jeremy because he has said something beastly about Ocean Colour Scene.
When we manage to get some drinks out of the beer kiosk that is pretending to be a bar, we find that Thirteen:13 are on stage. What an apt name, as it is surely the sum of their combined ages. The wee kids, however, know how to play their instruments, even strutting around a bit to look like real pop stars. Unfortunately that's all they do. We have seen their silly fringes, their angst, and their hackneyed mannerisms before. They are carbon copies of Suede, Pulp, Radiohead etc. without any decent tunes; however, judging by signs such as the expensive looking flyers scattered around the venue and the professionalism of their roadies it looks their record label thinks it is worth throwing money at them.
JJ72, on the other hand, cannot be accused of not bringing anything new to the party, even if it is only Mark Greaney's distinctive and versatile voice. Greaney is how Aled Jones would have turned out had he had had Alice Cooper as a baby sitter. The more you look at this trio the more you wonder what freak of events brought them together. You cannot imagine the three of them together in a pub. Are they cleverly acting out their roles in a finely crafted and constructed marketers dream?
Mr Marketer obviously had The Breakfast Club in mind when the roles were cast: Greaney plays the poetic tortured soul, Fergal Matthews the muscle bound jock on drums and Hilary Woods the unobtainable cheer leader on bass. Hilary apparently was asked to take up the bass in order to join the band and we can only marvel at the vision that selected her for her real talent which is the ability to be every young man's dream; striking, blonde, aloof and fingering something large.
Where did they get their name and what does it mean? I suspect that it was one of the few four digit .com's that had been overlooked by cyber squatters and the aforementioned Mr Marketer had www.jj72.com registered before he found his stars to be. Whatever their history and despite their dodgy name, JJ72 have some excellent tunes and the ULU studies were bang up for it. They may have been written off and slagged by some as lucky that there aren't any decent bands around or else they wouldn't have got a look in, but this sort of criticism is inevitably levied by individuals who think that they can pinpoint the antithesis of cool and that anything said, done or produced by Thom Yorke is revolutionary; the sort of sad specimen who will be slagging off the next bunch of entertainers when JJ72 are half way into their world tour. Before they get there though they will need to develop their show. A little more interaction with the audience would be nice even if it is only acknowledgement that they are in fact playing in front of one!
JJ72 may lack the force at present to push themselves onto the world stage but Mr Marketer is compensating and paving the way by introducing the concept to a wider audience. Getting Oxygen to play over the footie credits on Sky Sports is just the touch of subliminal genius that will ensure platinum sales and world wide acclaim.
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