Jamie Oliver has received much justified praise of late for his campaign to improve the health of the nation's children. I mention Mr Oliver as there is now an equally disasterous threat to our youth's wellbeing - Crazy Frog.

You may have seen this animated creature on TV recently - jumping up and down and jabbering incessentally, the frog is designed to appeal to children and the mentally subnormal to part with their money and download its unbelievably irritating cries as a mobile phone ringtone. Now somebody (allegedly German dance act Bass Bumpers, who really should be in hiding now) has decided to cover Harold Faltermayer's '80s classic Axel F and stick the frog's jabberings over the top of it. And your kids may want to buy it.

This cannot be allowed to happen. If you see someone in a record shop attempting to buy Axel F, stop them, by force if necessary. There may be tears, there may be tantrums. But they'll thank you in the long run. Remember Mr Blobby's Christmas number one and say after me, "never again"...