I'd like you to picture in your mind a high street, with rows upon rows of different shops. Being in the midst of an economic crisis, some of the shops have long since closed, others barely struggling to get by. For the purposes of setting the scene - and labouring the point - the street is called MOR Lane, just off String-laden Avenue, twinned with Heartfelt, Indiana.
First we come to Argos, a perfunctory, slightly grubby establishment that occasionally surprises you with something close to satisfying. It's manned by a certain James Morrison, with help from his mate Paulo Nutini. Further along we have Waitrose, a posh shop for posh people that is so spectacularly dull it hurts, and your manager is none other than James Blunt.
Finally, we reach the gleaming IKEA, all perfect surface and shiny finishing. The adorable Will Young works here and out of all the shops his is the most fun to be in. Unfortunately, IKEA can feel a bit soulless at times. You know it's there and the furniture is nice to sit on but it soon fades into the background and can look a bit like everything else on offer. Still, it's a nice place to visit every so often and I'll definitely be back for some new cushions.